My dear A.,
Another night and another day has passed. There is an empty bottle of wine on the table, unfinished glass of wine, half empty pack of cigarettes, lighter, two unopened bottles of wine, silent mobile phone, bottle opener, my black notebook with a pen in it and camera. As sad as it seems that's all my life is about now. I forgot music, I have still got music.
Tonight I am having my best friend over for some ''party'' that will actually be just sitting, drinking wine and talking. Although I still hope that ''the guy'' can still come after his concert because there is some unfinished business from today. Also my puppy likes when people are around.
Last night was sad. Just sad. I received a very bad e-mail that left me without words and I could have replied so many things but I just said that I won't excuse myself for anything. That's true, I've been giving excuses to people all my life and now I'm fed up with this. It's finished because there are certain people in my life that know everything about me and one little detail won't change their mind and see me as the worst person ever. So I cried a little bit and my puppy was so confused, it was a little bit funny.
Today I was supposed to host two people from Hungary. I met them, they came to my place and were really nice but one of them had an awful allergy of dogs, so unfortunately they had to leave. But then I spent some really nice time with other people, such as my sister. And my doggy, she is super sweet and nice and I love her very, very much. I could never hurt her. Now she is trying to jump on my knees but she is too small for that and can't do that and then she cries. It just makes my heart break.
Now I am thinking about the fact that maybe I should open a bottle of wine or shall I wait for my guest, hopefully guests? Anyways, I don't know what's gotten into me as I don't want to go to the city center for some ''partying'', maybe it's because of my puppy or I just don't want to meet new people. Finally, I have no idea what I want.
Tomorrow my mummy is coming over and bringing me some things I can use for the apartment. So cool!
Okay, I will stop now because otherwise I will start writing non-sense.
I love you,
Anna.